HEADLINES AND COMMENTS #5
Headlines from the world’s press. Comments by Diogenes

Area's Worst Bottlenecks Pinpointed In Beltway's Inner Loop
#1 is communications from the White House.

325,000 Names On Terrorism List
And that’s just Democrats

Genetic Clue Pursued In Families Struck By Bird Flu
I’ll bet they find that an ancient ancestor was a pterodactyl.

U.S. Pledges To Be Tough On China Trade
From now on we pick only one from column A, nothing from column B.
That’s being tough.

Skilling Knew Better, Witness Says
Of course he knew better, but Skilling wanted to make a killing.

Ready to Test Their Wings?
U.S. Plans to Remove Bald Eagles From the List of Threatened Species
Shooting the geezer was just practice for Cheney, he’s really after the baldies.

Fallaci Beheaded: An Art Exhibit In Milan Shows How Eager
The European Left Is To Accommodate Islam.
It was so hospitable of the left to invite the Muslims into their lands.
Do you think that the Muslims will return that hospitality?

Bush Shifts On Muslim Protests
Oops, I thought it said shits.

White House To Study Protecting Polar Bears
Hey, at this rate they soon may get around to protecting the American people.

Marion Barry's Tax Sentencing Postponed
Obviously, his case is a horse of a different color.

Teen Girls Using Pills, Smoking More Than Boys
Women’s lib is working wonders.

Plotter In USS Cole Attack Flees Jail
Jamal, here is the key to your cell. You only killed 17 Americans last time,
You must do better next time.

2,000-Year-Old Judean Date Seed Growing Successfully
Are they sure it’s not an ancient Viagra pill?

Ability To Wage 'Long War' Is Key To Pentagon Plan
A clever way to admit that we don’t know how to get out of Iraq or Afghanistan.

Frederick Doctor Charged With Fondling
He was just taking the pulse of his patient’s boobs.